


Susie is NOT Attracted to Miriam

by eDawg



Category: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eDawg/pseuds/eDawg
Summary: Susie thinks about how she isn't attracted to Midge.I wrote this in like 30 minutes (maybe less).
Relationships: Miriam "Midge" Maisel & Susie Myerson
Kudos: 7





	Susie is NOT Attracted to Miriam

Susie Myerson absolutely was not attracted to Midge. Truly. Honest to God she wasn’t. Except sometimes her stupid fucking body refused to listen to her brain. Her body could be so fucking stupid sometimes. Her body sometimes decided to betray her. 

The first time it had happened it didn’t feel like a betrayal because she didn’t really know Miriam that well yet. She had seen her many times of course. She had come into her Gaslight many times with her ridiculous outfits and that fucking brisket and demanding a better stop for her loser asshole unfunny husband. If Susie had a husband (Susie wasn’t stupid enough to have one) as untalented as him she sure as hell wouldn’t spend so much time bribing people for him. If he wanted a good time he should get his ass down here himself. Also he should write his own fucking material. ANYWAY the first time she found herself attracted to Miriam is when she wanders onto the stage half dressed and definitely drunk and gives one of the funniest stand up routines that Susie has ever seen. Sure it’s a little rough but it's good man. Then her tits come out and wow. Those fucking tits well there aren't words for those tits. And then all of sudden she found herself thinking about what a fucking asshole Joel was. Who the fuck left that? How dare he? 

The second time her body betrayed her she still didn’t know Midge that well. It was when she was being pulled off the stage at the Gaslight for the second time. And if that wasn’t hot Susie didn’t know what was. Because you see this time she knew what it was she was doing and she did it anyway. She almost dares the police officer to do it. It is HOT. It was hot to see her stare him down and works it into her stand up. It’s Fucking HOT and Susie knows she’s fucked. 

And maybe Susie Myerson can forgive her body for the first two times of weakness. She wasn’t friends with Midge yet. She was just that other worldly being with a brisket from heaven (she wasn’t an animal she wouldn’t turn down free food) but now she was friends with Midge not that she would ever say it out loud and her body just kept betraying her. Because the third time she finds her body betraying her is when she is roasting Sophie Lennon. It’s both hot and scary because now she's pretty sure they are both going to be fucked but damn if she isn’t hot up there saying everything she really shouldn’t. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck her. There it is again that annoying little feeling in her gut (lower down) that won’t go away. And it’s worse because Susie has been trying to tell herself that her relationship with Midge is strictly professional (very unsuccessfully). And if it is professional that she really, really shouldn’t be having these feelings. She really needs to get her body back under control. 

The next time that Susie feels the now all too familiar feeling in her gut (lower) she knows she is truly fucked. This time Midge has swampy armpits and mustard all of her. All of the other times she had quickly found an excuse. The first time there was nudity involved and the other times well the other times she was dressed but it was Midge and she was a Upper West Side house wife and a practical goddess (Susie didn’t believe in God but she did believe in Miriam) and who wouldn’t be attracted to a goddess? But now she was just like anyone else. She was way more human she had mustard on her dress for fuck sake. Susie could justify her body betraying her for a goddess but a regular old funny person? No she was in way too deep. 

Then she seemed to be getting better. She had won! She had gotten her stupid problem under control. Miriam and her family had gone up to the Catskills for the whole fucking summer. What kind of rich person bullshit was that? Who went away to a summer camp for the full summer with all of their family. There was no way that her body would betray her now, not after seeing her in this hellscape for rich people who ice skated in the middle of summer. What kind of bullshit was ice skating in the summer. She followed Miriam up because if they didn’t book a show she wouldn’t be eating all summer. And she managed free room and board which was nice. Then Miriam had to go and ruin everything in that bikini. She forgot her name when she saw it. She forgot how to breath. And then she snapped out of it. Drug addicts had relapses and so did Miriam addicts. Then Midge did her set in front of her father. And it was all over. Because that took balls. So fuck her. 

And now she was going to go on tour with Midge so she was going to die. There was no way that she wasn’t going to die. She should just be at peace with the fact that she was going to die while on tour with Midge. Midge was always going to be the death of her. It was only fitting really. So yeah Susie wasn't attracted to Miriam. Truly she wasn’t. Except when she definitely was and there was nothing she can do about it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. please leave feedback.


End file.
